The Audition Never Ends

Act 1, Scene 1

I’ve finally accepted the realisation that life is a big stage play with us as the cast and the crew.

Even the ones who claim to be aloof or too cool to care are simply acting in character.
Everyone is always performing. For others, and for themselves.

I genuinely feel like the only time the act stops is when we’re asleep.
And even then, our minds are still performing, this time, just in a different way, through dreams.

It never stops.

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Every now and then, I come across a TikTok video giving “advice” to women:
How to keep a man. How to make a man notice you. How to decenter a man. Black cat energy. How to make him miss you.

It’s always those same tired “how to’s.”

But on this day, one caption caught my eye:
“How to stop auditioning in relationships.”

The hook was different, and honestly, it piqued my curiosity.
But five seconds in, it was still the same script.
Be mysterious but be yourself. Act uninterested but be interested. Act, act, act.

Isn’t it strange how they tell you not to act, yet they’re still handing you roles to play?

And this doesn't stop at romantic relationships, platonic ones aren’t excluded either.
I thought about it for a bit and decided to let it go.
These people never talk about how a woman can make a billion dollars in 24 hours, it’s only men that’s on the agenda.
So I’ll pass.

I assumed I’d moved on until recently, when I made a new friend.
We got talking, and in less than 10 minutes, an onlooker would’ve thought we were long-time friends.
The conversation flowed. The vibe was right, and we were on track with the script that comes with getting to know someone.

Then a few weeks later, he offered me a job:
“Let’s work on something together.”

And of course, I’m always up for increasing my “bag,” so it was a no-brainer.
But once the dust settled and excitement faded, I caught myself thinking:
Was that the whole point of this?

Did he befriend me just to slot me into a folder in his life called “Work?”

It made me pause, until I realised I was doing the exact same thing.
I had also been collecting data. His stories, his energy, the way he speaks, the things he values,
And I was using all that to decide if he’d fit into my life.

Would he be friend material? Collaborator? A solid contact?

I was judging too.
Auditioning him, just like he was auditioning me.

I walked through all my existing relationships and realized that I did the same thing with them. I collected data and fit them into different categories of my life. “Friend from church, secondary school classmate, work bestie, possible destiny helper, gym friend”

Everyone had a category.

And that’s when it hit me:
The audition never ends.

We're always putting on our best performance, or worst.
Always curating. Always adjusting.
We’re even auditioning for versions of ourselves we haven’t met yet.

I don’t always feel like going to the gym, but I show up, because the future version of me is watching.
That version is judging whether or not I’m worthy of becoming her.
Isn’t that a performance too?

So why do we lie to ourselves?

Why do we act like there’s a finish line, some magical place where we can finally drop the script and “just be”?
Even “just being” has a costume these days.
Even authenticity has a script.

Sometimes we get asked, “Tell me about yourself,” and we blank.
Not because we don’t know who we are, but because we’re trying to remember which version of ourselves fits the moment.
And if you’re like me, for the corporate introductions, we go:
“I’m a digital marketer and social media strategist with over 3 years of experience. I use social media to amplify brand voice and connect with target audiences.”

Isn’t that a script?

Isn’t that your audition tape?

And the funny thing is, we’re all doing it.
Just hoping we land the part.
In love. In friendship. In work. In life.

The tape never stops rolling.

So maybe the point isn’t to stop auditioning.
Maybe it’s to be more aware of the roles we’re choosing to play…
and who we’re playing them for.

Because one way or another, the tape is rolling.

Act 1, Scene 1

If you’re feeling a little generous, buy me coffee :)

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section💕